Sad News: Bly Markis
I woke up this morning to sad news on the radio. In Toronto's 21st homicide of the year, a woman and man were caught on surveillance cameras entering the Hayden St. entrance to the Yonge and Bloor subway station early yesterday morning. Twenty minutes later, the man is seen emerging. The woman's body was found three hours later by a security guard.
The impact to me goes well beyond the fact that this occurred two short blocks from my apartment. In fact, I knew the victim. When I checked my e-mail this morning, I learned that this was a woman who I had met several times in my weekly street outreach walk that I have been participating in for the past year through Lazarus Rising and Sanctuary Ministries. The police would release her identity hours later as Bly Markis, 33, but I knew her only as "California". She was sincere and polite. She was pretty, and had a nice laugh. She was one of a few people I've met on the street who have taught me that you can maintain your dignity and keep a sense of joy in life in spite of the greatest challenges. She was the kind of person that I think anyone would like to have as a friend. Sad news, on a beautiful spring day.
Please pray for this woman's family, and for all of the fine folks at Sanctuary Ministries, many of whom were quite close to her.
[ED: (May 1, 2007) Oops. Comments were disabled over night. I have been really appreciating hearing from all of you who knew Bly. Please keep commenting!]
Labels: Bly Markis
posted by A&M @ 5:05 PM
46 Comments:
Do you mean she was a prostitute?
Thank you for your kind words about my cousin Bly. She had returned from Cali about 2 years prior, after trying to make a go of it there, which is probably why she used that nickname. We are paralyzed with grief that she is gone, but it warms my heart to know that there are people like you who showed her kindness and respect during her time of need. Though her parents live in Canada, the rest of her family resides in the US, and the obvious problem of distance prevented more regular contact. Thank you for seeing my cousin for whom she really was...a kind, loving and genuine person who deserved better.
I too would like to thank you for your kind words on my cousin. Bly was a very gentle and kind person. Her beauty was not only on the outside but was beautiful on the inside as well. We miss her very much and are grief striken with how she was taken away. Your article means alot to us and we thank you.
To my first anonymous commenter: No, I do not mean that. I do not know, and I will not speculate. It just doesn't matter. She was person, and she died under terrible circumstances that nobody deserves.
It was a blessing to have had Bly as a friend. It may comfort you to know that she was deeply loved by many - for many years. Personally I have thousands of memories of her carefree laughter. Her love of animals and nature was contagious. Like her name, she was a sweet melody.
She has been missed for awhile now...
Her journey here is done and now, she is finally at peace.
Bly was a highschool friend of mine and I was devistated to hear this news. She was a quality person and she will be missed by many, many people. I only wish I had known where she was. We were looking...
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings for my beautiful niece Bly. She was indeed all you discribed and much more. Our loss is profound as is our love.
Bly was my dear friends child. I was there the day she was born. Tears well up knowing the past,her childhood, the times spent as families and I cry for the life taken. Her family is in shock, as I am. A beautiful girl/woman, who loved animals and Barbie dolls. She was like a niece to me.
I know that there are many who loved Bly deeply who may want to share with you who she really was, but the media coverage is just a horrible thing to watch and to fuel people's ghoulish obsession with media violence would do no justice to the memory of this beautiful soul. Bly was not a throw way person... she was so very loved and wanted.
I went to Elementary school with Bly, a kinder heart you will not find. She was fill of curious and fun. A great student and a dear friend after grade 6, we both went our separate ways.
I never did get to say
"Good-bye"
Oh, Andy, I'm so sorry.
-Jen from up the street
Thank you Andrew for this wonderful entry about Bly aka California. She indeed was a wonderful woman with a big, bright heart.
I too knew Bly in Highschool. We may not have been close but we did talk and she was (or actually still is) a kind sweet person. As it was said above we were looking for her to get back in touch. It is sad that someone felt the need to resolve whatever difference they had with her by taking her life. May she RIP.
Bly was a wonderful person. I worked with her several years ago. My heart goes out to her family and friends.
If anyone knows anything from her family as to a funeral or memorial, please post it so that myself and others that were her friends may attend and pay respect.
Bly used to work for me, for a while, many years ago. My customers loved hearing her voice on the phone - they said she had a smile in her voice. When Bly smiled she was luminous; I thought of her as a butterfly person. She was a beautiful, fragile young woman, for whom everyday life was often overwhelming. So, tragically, like so many others with frail psyches, she met the wrong person and she ended up living precariously, as best she could. But she obviously has touched the lives of those with whom she came into contact, as they share their warm and special memories of her. My thoughts are with her parents, who loved her very much. I am so sorry for your loss.
knew Bly from birth....a beutiful person...hadnt seen her in years....so much grief and sorrow....can only pray for strength for her parents...
I have not seen Bly for many years, but my family and I are incredibly saddened by her tragic death. She was obviously a very special person and touched many peoples lives. Our thoughts are with her parents and we hope that they can take some small comfort from the many kind comments and that she was loved and cared for by many people.
To the person above who asked about funeral/memorial and everyone else who is interested: My understanding is that there will be a memorial at Sanctuary. I will post details as I hear of them.
I first met Bly 15 years ago. We created an instant "spiritual" bond. I lost contact with Bly 8 or 9 years ago. Not one day had gone by without wondering what happened to my beautiful, caring, amazing, terrific and loving friend. Honestly, when anybody says the name, Bly, you can't yourself from smiling. She was the first one calling me I was down. I wish she would have contacted me years ago. I'll miss those times drinking coffee at Toby's, ordering pizza from an awesome night out with her, unaware that it was 9 am. You're going to read many stories about Bly, but one thing will be consistent; she was an amazing, loving and caring person who put people ahead of herself. I miss you tons and I love you more.
I was absolutely crippled with grief when I read about Bly's brutal killing. I haven't seen her in about 4 years, but I was her boyfriend back in the early 90's. When I saw her last, she was doing well working at a catering company and had a nice place in the beaches. I actually have the photo that they are showing on the news and it's very hard to come to terms with. I pray for her and pray her family can remain strong through this truly tragic event.
I just want to say that I was terribly saddened by the news of Bly's tragic death. Although I didn't know her personally my heart feels very heavy and my thoughts and prayers are with her family and friends. Bly was obviously a very special person and has touched many people's hearts throughout her life.
I worked with Bly @ the catering company and have to agree that she had a very kind, compassionate heart. I am deeply saddened by her passing and hurt very much for her family and friends.
I was a highschool friend with Bly. we'd often ride the bus and subway together. Me and my room mates often through parties to which many Bly attended. We were even arrested together once (some of you know the story about the telepathic french speaking dog) over some silly teenage stuff. I was greatly saddened that this happened to the bright, pretty and warm girl i knew.
I remember her soft laugh and warm heart.
What a wonderful laugh. Glint in her eye. Talent and beauty. Never give up posture. Then tender, to nurture us, helping us understand the beauty we were missing. We are her roots.
My deepest heart felt sympathies to the family and friends of Bly. I didn't know her personally, she was a friend of my son, Newf (as he is called by his friends in TO)
J
Hi Andy,
I am saddened by the news of Bly's death - and all the violence in our world.
Who could have ever thought that by you putting a simple post on your blog that all of these comments would have come. It is truly amazing - it is so neat to read all of the tributes to this gal. I hope that her parents will be able to read them as well, and find some comfort in them.
Your willingness to be a positive presence on the street, Andy, is wonderful.
Peace
Your mom
I am so sorry to hear of the death of Bly - I only knew her when she was a baby and a small child. My son, Josh,was born around the same time as Bly.
I knew her parents well and they are fine and wonderful people. My thoughts are with them both and I share their sadness
love Brenda
We are deeply touched by the many memories and thoughts of sympathy from family, friends and everyone who has been effected by the loss of our daughter, Bly
She was a special, beautiful, kind, loving and caring person. Hearing it from so many others gives us great comfort at this difficult time.
Bly will be in our hearts forever and will always be dearly remembered for her happy spirit.
Thanks Andy for this opportunity to read the kind words of so many people. By doing this you have helped us in dealing with our pain over this senseless loss.
Life is our precious gift.
Bly's Dad and Mom
We are so sad at the news of Bly's death. We remember this wonderful little girl who used to play with our daughter and how when she arrived at our home, it was like a ray of sunshine coming into our lives. This is how we shall always remember her. We feel such sadness and feel the sorrow her parents are experiencing. Words cannot convey our feelings but our prayers are for Bly and her Mom and Dad. Good bye Bly, safe journey, we are sure that your new world will be one of happiness and light.
Ann - Andrew & Liberty Mulkani
Oh my what can one say but to remember and keep the spirit alive. Linda remembers Bly's interesting 'pad' loft and all the animals....her sweet smile.
Glenn remembers Bly's bright... bright positive face and inquiring spirit.
Linda and Glenn
Several folks have been asking about memorial/funeral for Bly. Her parents have decided to have a private time to say their good byes. Our respect and prayers are extended to them. As a parent I cannot imagine the depth of pain in their hearts right now.
Sanctuary will be having a memorial next Thursday at 3 pm for anyone interested in coming to remember Bly/California. Please no cameras. No media. No political agendas. This needs to be a time for those of us who knew her to remember/celebrate/grieve together. If you want more info feel free to call Sanctuary. - Keren
Bly is a First Nation's name. The spiritual meaning is joyful and high in spirit. The physical meaning is given to one you wish to be tall. Bly lived up to her name is every way.
Bly was very beautiful. Not like a flower which is rooted in the earth but like a bird whose beauty we are in awe of. Like a bird which is strong enough to migrate thousands of miles yet whose bones are so fragile we can crush them in our hands.
Bly had to fly freely but she always migrated back home. She knew and we knew she was very close to coming home again
Due to the circumstances of her death, we had to have a private ceremony. We apologize to anyone that this may have hurt but we're sure you'll understand. We just had to bring her home again.
Thank you for all your kind words of support.
Bly's Dad & Mom "Cookie"
Cookie and Peter I am deeply saddened at your profound loss. My heart aches for you both in this most difficult time. Take care....
We remember the little girl who would only wear girly dresses, the funny charming child who was so sweet, who looked like Alice in Wonderland, a gentle pretty little girl. We remember Bly and her pets and all the love that was there in that close family and our hearts are full of sorrow.
Cookie, that is the most beautiful tribute, deeply moving.
Andy and Melissa, thank you for providing this space for all the people who care about Bly and her parents.
Deborah and Bill
I met Bly when she was 16 and like Cookie said, I was immediately in "awe" of her beauty and spirit. She was luminous!We became very close and I was blessed to have her in my life for the next 14 years.
I will never forget all the things that she loved and that we shared together.... bon fires, and swimming late at night, camping, dancing, movies, reading tarot cards and astrology books, and giving manicures, just to name a few. I dont remember her ever using the word hate. We laughed and cried together more times then I could count as she was always there for me, she was fiercly loyal to her many friends. Bly's generous and loving nature allowed her to give freely to anyone and everyone without judgement.
Like many, I have been missing her for some time now, but knowing I will never see her again is a hurt I could never be prepared for or find the words for.
All that matters now is that I did know and love her for everything she was during her evanescent time with us.
Cookie, you captured Bly's essence and put it into words as only a mother could, so strong yet so fragile.You are in my heart forever!
Of course we understand and respect your need for privacy at this time. D and I are planning something intimate for those who love and miss her down here. May you have peace, we are here for you if you need.
Bly Markis was a friend our ours when we were kids. I have very fond memories of playing with her on her pourch, trading makeup, swinging on her pourch swing, playing in her front garden that we called the jungle, celebrating birthday parties, trick-or-treating at halloween, visiting her pet spider and just hanging out. Bly was a very sweet, kind and gentle person, as were her parents. I remember how patient and welcoming Cookie and Peter were and how much they loved Bly. We are shocked and sad. We will treasure the childhood pictures that we have of you and will always remember your beautiful face. May you be at peace. With all our love, Paula Molloy and the Molloy family.
Bly and I were destined to be friends from the very moment she answered the door on Elba when we were six or seven. We were best friends from that moment on. Sitting on her parents porch which we pretended was our own apartment. Eating laughing bread (our own recipe for bread) laughing because it was nearly impossible to chew. No one could make me laugh as hard or as much as she could and did. I think I laughed more with Bly than most people get to in their whole lives. I feel so lucky and grateful to have had a true best friend in my life. Countless late night conversations about our plans, dreams or the most recent adventure we had together. Songs we wrote and recorded in her Dads studio "My Baby's Chinese And Hes got No Hair" we swore it was a hit. She would eat fried eggs from the white edges to the yolk then put the whole yolk in her mouth in one bite just to amuse me.She would stand in front of the fridge with the door open in a daze when she first woke up in the morning. She loved fruit in the morning and liked tea too coffee. She loved to dance and will always smile when I remember her dancing wildly in my bathroom mirror. She always drew fairies, butterflies and would make dandelion halo's for our hair. Always the first to stand by a friend in need no matter what the cost. She made everyone's birthday important, the one to bring everyone together. She seemed to have the wisdom, that all there is and all that matters is the time spent with the people we walk this world with. Words could never express the grief I feel for the loss, or my love for my best friend Bly. A closeness that could never be explained, a bond that can never be touched or tarnished. Every moment spent together cherished. Every detail locked into my heart and memory forever till our spirits are reunited. Bly's precious soul has impacted my soul and I am forever changed by her friendship. Nothing, not even time or space could ever diminish the place she has in my heart. My sister, fearless goddess and, if I am worthy, my guardian angel. ( P and Cookie, Thank-you for always nurturing our friendship. Your door was always open for my brother and I. Sleep overs on school nights and my finger tracks in the sugar bowl. Rabbit teeth hanging from the mirror of your car that you swore were your own, fish I had to eat when having dinner over. My heart and thoughts are with you.) Denyse
My deepest sympathy goes to Bly’s Family and Friends. I did not know her but heard of her…It goes to show how much this person had impacted the lives of others. I believe and hope that her life was not taken in vain but helps inspire others to try and overcome their greatest challenges. Her story struck really close to home when I heard my nephew (newf) was her friend. From reading the stories I know what a wonderful person she was and how much she was loved.
May her soul rest in peace.
I know my mom has been thinking about you alot Peter and Cookie, and Bly. Although we havent been in touch for a long time, this amounts to a profound rupture in what we know is good about the world. P&C have always been truly kind people. We're all very very sorry for you.
Aaron Senitt
Bly's memorial and celebration of her life is on her birthday. One of her favorite things to do was picking fiddleheads. We did this together many, many times to celebrate Bly's birthday.
We would go into the forest and smell the air and breathe.
We would listen to the birds. If you are very quiet the birds would show themselves to you.]
We would look at all the wild flowers. At this time of year, the forest floor is covered with Trout Lily, Bloodroot, and hundreds of Trillium
We would follow animal tracks, look for mushrooms and rescue insects.
We would eat a packed lunch and we would pick fiddleheads.
When we came home we would cook a fish and eat our fiddleheads.
It was always a good day.
Today her Dad and I went picking fiddleheads. We smelled the air and breathed very deeply. We sat quietly and thought of Bly. The birds showed themselves all around us. Bly's spirit was with us and we were all at peace.
We ate our packed lunch and picked fiddleheads. When we came home we cooked a fish and ate our fiddleheads.
Today was a good day.
Bly talked frequently about her days picking fiddleheads with her parents. So much so that Paula and I were talking about it yesterday, as we were walking to one of Bly's favorite spots with our children. Paula taught my daughter how to make the dandelion head wreath as Bly had taught her. My daughter wore it in her hair as we walked.
Thank you Cookie for having the strenghth to share with us at this time...we are all getting strength from your words.
Bly Markis was not a “homeless woman”. There were many doors that were open for Bly. Many hearts open for Bly.
I always wanted to protect you, but as we all know you didn’t want protection. You fought for your freedom.
If asked, I would have said that you were like a little sister to me, but I am realizing that that is not true.
I admit that I was shocked when you timidly asked me questions about sex and things that I thought that you must have already known.
Still, in conversation, I can manage to impress others with some incredible pearl of wisdom, seemingly from some exotic life or adventure. Upon reflection, I realize that you were the one who gave me this or that bit knowledge; you were the one who taught me.
Thank you, Bly.
Bly was the girliest girl. I remember how odd it was when she started working at the Bay. It seemed like cage for her. That white lab coat behind the make-up counter. Bly twisted my arm and made me come down for a facial. Yuck! She taught me how to wear make up (insisted that I wear foundation when she did the make-up for my sister’s wedding). Waiting for Bly to get ready to go out was always entertaining; there was always music, dancing and a little head-banging to go along with our nagging and complaining.
Who could stay angry at Bly? I waited for hours for her to wake up so that I could tell her how upset that I was that she had left the stove on all night. She apologized, smiled and in that magical Bly sort of way make the anger disappear.
How many crazy adventures did we go on? How many sunrises did we watch? Enough?
We are all telling ourselves that we could, should or would have been the one to save Bly.
Don’t kid yourself. Remind yourself of how stubborn she could be. How if she wanted something it was like it was already done.
Our sweetheart who saved every animal (drowning worms, sick birds, and cat chewed mice) was a fortress.
We all tried to tell her that going and doing this or that was crazy. We all worried about her. We all loved her.
Bly always did what Bly wanted and although I can’t stop thinking about her every memory makes me smile, fills me with joy and makes me laugh out loud with pure happiness.
My deepest condolences on your loss.
Though words do not even come close to help ease your grief, I hope you can take some small measure of comfort in the fact that Bly was loved and cherished by so many people.
I have not seen her in some time, but I remember her as the wonderful playmate from Elba who always brought something new to the table every time we did something, whether it was playing, drawing or creating something from our imaginations (or dressing/making up that boy who wanted to know what it was like to be a girl – I still have the pictures of that one!).
I am sad that we didn’t stay in touch, but I was blessed to have Bly in my life even if it was for a short fraction of our childhood. I believe that her purpose was to touch as many lives with her beauty, innocence, wonder and joy of life.
My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.
Gina
It didn't take long when I moved into the area of Danforth and Warden Ave, where that's where I met my new best friends Bly and Denyse. They quickly took me under their wings and I became a part of the block group and I will say it was the best group of friends I've ever had during my childhood! I remember the times of sleepovers at Bly's house and how I thought she was the luckiest girl on the block to have a high up loft bed! (which her parents built of course!!) It was really high you could touch the ceiling without even standing up. I swear if any one of us had fell from that bed, there would be definitely a broken bone or two! Peter and Cookie were so amazing putting up with us girls on sleepover nights. You couldn't ask for better parents. Or the most patient parents. They always welcomed me into their home. I must give credit where credit is due....Peter and Cookie you have raised a wonderful, caring, lovable girl, who always thought of others with her kind heart. Another memory that I remember fondly is.....well you all know Bly loves animals. There was a time when I was about 12 and I had a hamster, and unfortunately he passed away. I had no where to bury him, as I lived in a small apt building that didn't really have a backyard. I cried hard that day and Bly quickly offered me to bury Hammy in her backyard. Of course we did the whole ritual thing placing him in a box and buried him in her backyard I was so upset and Bly hugged me and said everything was going to be ok. Bly was always so positive about things in life. In any case I would have to agree with Denyse, when she mentions in her blog, every memory and every detail of Bly is locked in place!! I will never forget those great moments of our childhood together. Bly was such a gentle soul and when I heard the news, it was extremely hard to sink in. Hard to believe, and not wanting it to be true. It has been many years since we have seen each other, as we all moved on to different paths in our lives. However, nothing, absolutely nothing could ever take away what we had in our friendships on Mack and Elba Street. Those were great times by far! Memories to look back on, and have either a good cry or one amazing laughing fit. I'll opt for the laughing! Bly I know you are in a better place, even though we all would give anything to have you here with us on this earth. You are now safe and in peace. You'll always be close to my heart, I will never forget the person you were and are! Genuine,unique,strong,brave and the most gentle person anyone would be proud to call a friend. P&C I want to say, I'm very honoured to have met Bly and you both in my lifetime, my thoughts are with you, keep faith in your hearts, as one day you'll reconnect with each other. This poem is for Bly and her family, it's one of my favourites and I hope you enjoy it as well.
I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart) I am never without it (anywhere I go you go, my dear, and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling I fear) no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) I want no world (for beautiful, you are my world,my true) and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant, and whatever a sun will always sing is you.
Here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than a soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart.
I carry your heart(I carry it in my heart) By: E.E.Cummings.
Message from Bly
Bly's birthday is today as well as her memorial.
This morning when I was in the shower, I wished her a Happy Birthday, told her I loved her and said I was sorry I wasn't strong enough to attend her memorial.
When I was drying off, I saw something stuck to the front of my leg. I scrapped it off onto my fingertip. It is a tiny bright blue metalic heart. I don't know how it got there. Bly's Grandma would send these hearts in her Birthday cards but I haven't seen them around the house for years.
Of course I cried and I heard Bly say "Don't Cry Mom".
MAY BLY MARKIS REST IN PEACE
MAY THE LUNATIC THAT TOOK HER LIFE
NEVER HAVE PEACE
MAY THE LUNATIC SEE IN HIS MIND EVERY TIME HE CLOSES HIS EYES,HER
ANGEL FACE,THEN DREAM OF WHAT HE DID TO HER AND WAKE UP EVERY NIGHT.
HE DOES NOT DESERVE PEACE EVER AGAIN.
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